


Want to want me

by FreddieFcknMercury



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Positivity, Enby reader, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fat Shaming, Fluff and Smut, Foreplay, Insecurity, Mild Smut, Size Difference, Smut, Teasing, enby, fat female reader, fat reader, plus size reader, reassurance, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 00:58:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16545749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreddieFcknMercury/pseuds/FreddieFcknMercury
Summary: Bucky's Plus sized/fat partner has some complications and doubts about finally having sex with him.





	Want to want me

**Author's Note:**

> So I was having some body image issues and I wrote about it kinda?  
> I don't think it's a huge issue with this particular story but if you may have any body image issues, especially any plus size/fat readers, this is your warning. It is the main focus of the story.

You'd been waiting. You weren't sure if he was really sure, so you waited and let him make that move. He tossed his shirt aside and all but ripped into you when you didn't hold him back this time. Gently nibbling across your neck, his hair tickling your face. You hitch your breath but not from the sensation, from your overactive thoughts.

He stops and pulls away to look at you with a soft sigh, running his fingers through his hair.  
"What's wrong?"

You lie and try kissing him again.  
"Nothing? I'm fine."

"Y/n I can tell you're not into this... what's going on?"  
He gives you a quick peck but pulls off. You didn't want him to stop touching you but he's right, you're not all the way there. 

"No I... I guess, maybe I'm just nervous? I don't know, I'm fine really it's just ah..."  
You can't gather the words. Or rather you probably can but you're trying not to kill the mood. It really isn't a big deal. You wish he'd stop making it a big deal.

"I'm making you nervous?"  
He looks genuinely upset. He doesn't want you to ever be uncomfortable around him. You shake your head a few times quickly, tripping over your own thoughts as they pile up on the tip of your tongue.

"No, not you but... you."  
You avert your eyes and gesture vaguely at his exposed torso. He seems to understand. Whatever emotion is on his face now though you can't read. You see him trying very hard to pick his next words carefully. It takes a long moment for him to reply.

"Tell me exactly why you're nervous."  
He's always been consistent on opening up a dialogue and you're happy he knows how to press forward with you.

"Because of how we look... together like, I'm not used to-"  
You stop, closing your eyes to try and compose yourself with a deep breath. You look him in the eye.  
"You're incredibly handsome. And your body is amazing."  
You laugh nervously looking him over once again.  
"I guess I'm afraid that..."  
Your mouth starts to get dry. He's looking you over; waiting softly, patiently for you to finish.  
"...that you're gonna start this and get my clothes off and then change your mind... because of what I look like."  
You throw your hands up slightly in defeat.

He looks at you dumbfounded.  
"I hear you. I understand."  
Then closing his eyes and rubbing the side of his neck he sighs.  
"But, you know I can see you, right? I can see you right now. I already know what you look like."  
You cross your arms nervously and try to readjust yourself. He takes a few steps to close the space between you. He's persistant and you appreciate that. Pressing his body against yours while smoothing his hands around your waist, leaning down slightly to speak into your ear.  
"That's why I'm trying to get in your pants."

He slips his fingertips down past the top of your jeans but you reflexively pull back. He lets go and steps away slowly. You instantly curse yourself.  
"Shit..."  
You rub your face shaking your head.  
"Bucky, I-"  
He's already turned his back but he lifts a hand to quiet you while scratching his head with the other. He has to be angry. He has every right to be upset with you right now. You're honestly just being a huge tease. You think he's about to tell you to leave when he turns back to look at you, face filled with a warm gentle glow.

"Do you want me? Do you really want me?"

You hitch your breath and blink away the bit of emotion tugging at you. Of course you want him.  
"Of course."  
You whispered it. You're not sure how but your response makes his demeanour change slightly. It was physical you could see it happen right in front of you.

"You like my body?"  
You nod hesitantly.  
"You like looking a it? Touching it?"  
You nod again this time rolling your eyes before dropping your head quickly and sighing.

"Bucky please I-"  
He shakes his head and interjects.

"Then touch it, touch me."  
You straighten up unsure if he's serious. He grabs your hands and presses them flat against his chest.  
"Touch me y/n."  
He molds his hands on top of yours, moving your fingers across his body. Making sure you can feel each ripple, dragging them over his hard stomach stopping at his hips just above the top of his pants.  
He slides one of your hands back up slowly to touch his metal shoulder, you snap your eyes up to lock onto his.  
"You said you love my arm, right?"  
The arm he hates. The metal hand you make a point of holding specifically, to remind him it's just a prosthetic and you're unphased by it. You take a deep shaky breath as he takes one last step forward closing all the space between you again. Reaching down under the hem of your shirt he gently caresses your stomach, letting his fingers graze your bellybutton. Your squishy stomach covered in stretch marks. The ones you've told him you hate.  
"Why can't I love this the way you love my arm?"

"That's hardly the same."  
You drop his gaze in favour of the floor.

"You like my body. Metal, scars, all this ugly. So why is it so hard for you to believe that I like all the genuinely beautiful things about yours?" 

You finally find the courage you didn't know you'd been looking for to ask him the question you didn't know you had.  
"Why would you?"

He doesn't miss a beat.  
"Because you're perfect."  
Both of you hate that word, but he isn't backing down from it this time.  
"Have I ever done anything to make you feel like I don't desire every last bit of you? That I can't handle it?"  
He raises an eyebrow hard at you. He wants an answer. 

You take a shaky breath.  
"No."  
And he hasn't.

"I love you, and you love me. We both know that."  
He leads you backwards to sit on the bed and kneels down in front of you, making sure you get a good look at his face.  
"...you turn me on y/n. I think you're sexy. Every last inch of you. Every thick soft armful of your thighs and your ass and your stomach. All of it."  
He gets up slightly to hook his hands under your thighs, picking you up and placing you farther back effortlessly. You're still amazed by how strong he really is. Leaving you for just a second to slide his pants down slowly past his hips so you can watch him reveal his hardened length, then quickly disgarding them onto the floor.

He lifts your legs together to slip off your pants. You're still a nervous wreck but you love watching him undress you and take extra care to show you his body and look at yours. Positioning himself between you it's then you're reminded just how much navigation he's required to do.  
"It's gonna be alot of... effort on your part, Buck."

He shrugs nonchalantly, shaking his head.  
"It's work I wanna do."  
He bends down to kiss you hard, pushing you gently onto your back and you feel his dick pressed against your thigh making you gasp. He bites down on your throat as he drags the tips of cool metal fingers across your torso, cupping and caressing bits of flesh as he does. You arch your back as he runs those sweet delicate fingers perfectly over your clit using the other hand to lift your shirt up and bite down on your nipples. You let out a whine that is just a bit too loud and instinctually slap a hand over your mouth. He quickly removes it.  
"No. I wanna hear you."

You begin to roll your hips against his hand and he slowly starts bucking his against your thigh, growling from deep in his chest, until you can't take it anymore. The next time he comes back down to kiss you, you cup his face.  
"Bucky... Buck please. Fuck me?"  
He kisses you once hard on the mouth then vigourously covers your neck and chest in hot, wet, sloppy kisses before grabbing your thighs and pulling you farther into his lap. Using one hand to hold a leg up from underneath your knee he uses his metal hand to slowly slide two fingers inside you. You gasp at the sensation. He's taking just a few dips to coat them with your juices then rubbing them on his cock.  
He takes your hands and makes you roam them over his body while ghosting his metal hand up and down your thighs and across your stomach. He's rolling his hips into you relentlessly. Each of his strokes are long and deliberate.  
"Oh Bucky.. Oh, Bucky yes."  
You let out a breathy moan towards the sky as he brushes against that sweet spot deep inside you on each stroke. This pushes him over. He reaches his hands over your thighs to grab under you, forcing himself as far into you as he can.  
Double timing his thrusts now, there are no words or noises left in you and the only thing you can do is shudder. He all but screams into your chest as his own climax lays claim to him. He collapses into you, both laying there panting for minutes, each trying to find your brains again. He slowly props himself up, kissing his way up your body towards your lips. Each one warm and sweet and intentional.

"I never want you to feel like I don't want you again."


End file.
